Candle Huffer

So Laney has been driving me a little crazy lately. She has been nutty about wanting to smell all of the candles we have in the house and there are many, not like my-house-is-a-Pottery Barn-many, but many nonetheless. She wants to carry them around and take them with her when we run errands. I'm fine with her smelling them, but I don't want her carrying them around since they:

1. Are in glass containers
2. Are heavy
3. Can smash her toes if she drops them

I've been letting her smell them when we're in the house and I'm supervising her. As I watch her try to cram her entire face into the top of the candle, I am reminded of when I was pregnant with Millie and the smell of meat was enough to send me wretching into the bathroom. If Jason wanted to eat meat he had to cook it himself. Outside. While I stayed as far away from him as possible hunched over a candle huffing away at it like some desperate teenager with a paper bag full of glue. It was the only way to keep the smell of that damn meat from tainting my delicate nostrils. Those were the days.

Artist

Last night over dinner we were discussing Millie's excitement over it being her turn to have the class Sharing Time Bag. She decided the item she wanted to share with her class was her Bee Diary, a notebook with bees on the cover. She ran and got it and then proceeded to show us page after page of her drawings and writing. We had to guess what each drawing was.

She showed us one in particular that, to me, looked like a striped soap dispenser. To be generous I guessed it was a zebra (nope) and then a penguin (again no). Finally we convinced her she should tell us what it was because really, the guessing could go on forever. I mean, one of the previous drawings was a rain dance, so you see how obscure it could be. Somewhat exasperatedly she proclaimed, "It's a candy cane duck! It has mint and meat!"

We Have Fish!

A couple weeks ago J was in Alaska with his dad for a testosterone-injected fishing trip. We have lots of halibut and some salmon, so come over for a fish fry.

Soopa!

Right now Laney is waving around 2 rulers in front of her face and singing, "Soopa Duuuurrrrl! (Super girl, I think.) On Duuurrrl she crosses the rulers and nods her head yes once. Oh, and guys, she just saved a teddy bear.

Kindergarten

Millie's first day of kindergarten was yesterday. She's going to Canyon Rim Academy, a charter school. As you can see from the photos above, she must wear a uniform, which is fine with her except that no dresses are allowed and no pink. I guess in her mind the pink backpack helps make up for all the un-pink clothing.

Millie has been writing her name for a long time now, but her e's have always been kind of upside down. After one day of school her e's are perfect. Of course I tried to help her fix them and she's all like, "Mom, stay out of my business." I asked if her teacher helped her fix them and she says she figured it out herself. A pretty productive first day, if you ask me.

When You're Angry and You Know It

When Laney naps Millie has quiet time. Quiet time = working on an art project while watching a movie. One day last week her movie was over and she asked me for another one. I told her no because she'd had enough TV for one day and she should try to entertain herself in another way. The above picture is what she came up with.

I was folding clothes when all of a sudden I heard a crinkle, crinkle. I looked up and Millie was standing around the corner, just out of sight, waving her angry masterpiece at me. I had to hold back a laugh because, well, it was funny. The good thing is after a minute of waving the picture she started giggling and then we both got to laugh about it together.

Car Conversation

Picture this: Me, Millie & Laney driving along the 215 on our merry way to playgroup, when suddenly the grey BMW sedan in front of us starts weaving and then braking and accelerating erratically. The following conversation ensues:

Me: (to the BMW) What are you doing!!???

BMW: No answer.

Millie: Mom, who are you talking to?

Me: The bad driver in front of us!

Millie: Why?

Me: Because she's text messaging when she should be driving. She's driving like a moron!

BMW: (weave. weave. weave. brake)

Millie: Oh. That reminds me of something.

Me: What does it remind you of?

Millie: Well, Spongebob? He's a really bad driver! He has *bad* boating skills.

(really, she said that)

Laney: Spunbob.

Me: (still watching the dumb text messaging girl weaving about, but from a safer distance. Glad to have a new topic of conversation so I can avoid yelling profanities at said BMW)
What makes Spongebob a bad driver?

Laney: (sees a crane) and yells WA-GOON! (for some reason she associates cranes with Lagoon amusement park)

Millie: (doesn't skip a beat) Sometimes? He drives with his foot while he reads the newspaper and drinks coffee. And that's Not. Doing. The Law!

Me: Your right! That's not doing the law.

Laney: I wike Doobie. (Doobie is how Laney says Oobie, the bare-hand puppet on Noggin.)

Millie: (annoyed) Laney! We are not talking about Oobie right now! We are talking about Spongebob!

Laney: Spunbob. Oooo-tay.